My Sister, My Enemy...

For the past 24 years of my life, I could say that last month was the very first time I ever said “I’m out of words to say”. Not because I didn’t have anything to say but maybe because any good word that I could think of are still not enough to describe how I felt and still feeling right now.

Last March 16, 2012, my family struggled and battled a life changing situation. Out of all the obstacles that our family has conquered, I guess this one’s one of the toughest. And though this was not the first time we faced a life and death situation, we went through the same roller coaster ride. True enough, nothing will ever prepare you for something as BIG as this.

My sister was diagnosed with a growing infection that started from above her uterus. Doctors keep on telling me that it did not started after she had her caesarean delivery, pfft! They underestimated my researching skills then. Well let’s not focus on that. I’ll save my arguments for court trials. J

To cut the story short, she went through another major operation. Those were the longest eight hours of my entire existence. As for everyone to know, I was the one outside the OR, anxiously waiting for the doctor to finally tell me she’s fine. My mom couldn’t go with her. She’s a pacemaker patient. My dad couldn’t also, his sugar might shoot up and he’d instantly faint. My brother was there, midway of the operation.

I couldn’t help myself but cry and just ask the BIG MAN up there to give my sister a chance to see her baby again. I’m saying this because the doctors immediately told me that she was in a “50-50 state” and they are doing a “lifesaving” operation. And when I heard those lines, everything went blank and I just couldn’t stop myself from crying. Mama and Papa were asking me what the doctor said and I just had to lie to them. I could not risk my parents’ health as well. I was thinking of Anikka, no one else but her. All I could remember was how my sister even waved back at me when the nurses took her to the DR to undergo a few tests. Then she was transferred straight to the OR.

Because her infection had spread out, her haemoglobin was continuously dropping. We had to ask the blood bank for 2 bags before the operation then another 2 after the operation. I understand that the blood bank could only give 1 bag for us and the other 3, we have to replace or ask someone to donate. And this was when I knew in my heart, my parents are good people – my family is GREAT. Immediately after my mom and dad started asking help from their CLOSEST friends, help came pouring out. And without any difficulties, we we’re able to get more than what was needed for my sister in less than 24 hours. That was when I was startled. Lost. Blank. My phones won’t stop beeping and help from friends we’re overwhelming.

I would like to thank EVERYONE who showed me and my family love, support and care. We owe you so much. And for EVERYONE who prayed and keeps on praying for my sister’s full recovery, thank you. My thank you’s might not be enough to express the feeling that me and my family feels. You have given back our big sister, my parents’ first born child, and most importantly, Anikka’s mama. That for me is more than enough already.

Let me share to you another tear jerking story: “My sister, my enemy”. Would you believe that this was how my sister sees me before? Hahaha! Growing up suffering from a big age gap, me and my sister would fight a lot. A LOT -- meaning every chance we get.

And there are times when I am guilty of cursing my sister. Hoping and wishing she’d be gone soon from our house. That was how worse our relationship was. But when she had to leave for her vacation in the States, I cried to death at the airport, surprisingly not letting go of my sister’s hand. During her entire stay there, we regularly send emails to each other and I enthusiastically tell her stories of my first year in college. I guess that was the time when we grew closer to each other. Going home and seeing my sister’s bed empty still made me sad though. And for about a week after she left for States, I couldn’t talk to her over the phone because I always ended up sobbing and crying.

When she got back, she planned one of the biggest milestones in my life – my debut. And I guess that made everyone see that we’re growing up very close to each other. Then we decided to keep just one big bed in our room since my closet was taking up a BIG space and her shoe racks couldn’t fit in there too. She’d tell me stories about her love life and she didn’t have any idea that their love story is my inspiration to finding the right guy for me. I was the very first in the family, to see her beautiful sparkling engagement ring.

Up until her wedding day, I stood beside her. I fixed her veil while saying “You make a very pretty bride Ate. Mukha kang prinsesa.” Then before my tears fell, I turned around and started marching towards the altar. And when she was marching, I had mixed emotions. I was happy for her at the same time sad because she might no longer be with me much and I’ll surely miss her -- exactly what I said during the maid of honor speech, plus a whole lot of crying. Hahaha!

Then one Saturday, a year after her wedding, while doing her make-up before she went to her friend’s wedding, they broke the news to me. In seven months, I’m officially a TITA. I broke down in tears again and hugged her very tight while telling her, “I’m so happy for you Ate.”

I stood by her throughout those nine whole months. Telling her stories every night while her little baby inside is listening too. We went to Lamaze class together giggling about our classmates startled because she was the only one without a husband. Then that faithful day came. She was about to give birth. Seeing her in pain made it very hard for me. But there was no other choice. It was either me or no one. And before her delivery date, people would always ask me, can you do it? You might suffer from trauma. Whatever people! I had to be there for my sister. So she gave birth to Anikka. My cutesy patootsy baby girl J And she is all worth it.

This is the story of me and my sister. I’m very proud of her winning piece “My sister, my enemy”. But most importantly, I’m proud of her and me. I’m proud that we grew very close to each other, fighting together and loving each other unconditionally. I could say that, we make our parents very proud.

For all its worth, I am very thankful for the BIG MAN up there who gave me and my sister everything that we have right now. I thank him for my family STRONGER than ever. I am now a believer that he will NEVER, EVER give you something that he knows you could not handle or endure. He is, in fact, an ALMIGHTY and LOVING father. The obstacle that I and my family went through was no joke. It was not easy. But again, it was all worth it.

In line with the Holy week, I would like this story to be told. Not just for the families, for friends, for siblings, but for everyone. This was for me, a huge test of my FAITH in Him. He indeed listens to your heart’s desires. And though there maybe times that he won’t give you exactly what you’ve asked for, NEVER doubt him. He just knows exactly what is right for you and he will grant it whole heartedly. Now I understand how Mama Mary felt while everyone was cursing Jesus while walking and carrying the cross. Because once in my life I felt that way too. It was more than excruciating to see someone you love so dearly in pain while you wait, watch and can’t do anything about it. Now I understand not just in context but deep in my heart the line “For God so loved the world that he gave his only son”. It is never EASY to give up someone you love.

I don’t want to sound so holy but during those hours, I couldn’t dare question him WHY. All I could say was, your will be done. Because for the past years, I always say that each time I pray. His will be done. And he never fails me. To be honest, there are A LOT of times that I would feel disappointed because he wouldn’t grant me what I prayed for. But I always see to it NEVER to regret or question him about it. Because I know in my heart, he had a reason why.

Maybe most of you would tell me, if you seriously believe in him, WHY NOT ASK HIM FOR A BOYFRIEND? I would be a hypocrite if I tell you it’s not one of my prayers. Crazy if I tell you it’s least of my priorities. But I always tell HIM about it. Most of the time, if I really like a guy and consider him as a steady boyfriend, I see to it to ask Him first. Not my parents’ opinion, but HIS’ first. Fortunately, out of the several guys I asked, he hasn’t approved any. And his answers came so fast – almost instant actually.

So for everyone who gets to read this, Thank you for being there for my family. I would forever be grateful for the love, care and support.

And for the rest of the week, I encourage everyone to spend it with your family, with your friends and NEVER forget the BIG MAN up there. Make this Holy Week count.

Ciao Bellas,
Alex