My utmost cry.

I was kinda hoping that after posting my "of love and such" entry, for once, things would just fall into places and stop. But hell no, you just wouldn't stop blabbing. I kinda understand though where you're coming from. And you just wouldn't make it easy for me. It was hell hard for you right? I know!!!!!!!! I think everyone KNOWS already because you just wont shut up will you? 


For the last time, I'll waste my precious time on you. Not because i want to but because i think I already HAVE to. Things are just getting out of hand and I DESERVE TO SAY MY PIECE! I've already told you this so many effin' times and now, since you just won't stop, it's for public consumption already.


I don't even know why i'm a bit concerned about you when you're just sooooo damn insensitive of how I felt and feeling!!!!! In my effort to avoid causing you any more pain, my silence wasn't ENOUGH for you to have the DECENCY of just wrapping up your thoughts inside your head and letting it just DIE there! 


I'm human. I have feelings too and just like any human, I commit mistakes. I do crazy things then change my mind after. So if that's what hurts you, that I changed my mind one morning, THEN FINE! i'm guilty! But don't you think this is just getting a little old on you? It's been what???? And you, dragging me, over and over again is just so UNFAIR already. Yes it is! I know cause I was once hurt too. What we're you thinking all these time??? I won't know how you back stab me? It'll be just a secret? Well then meet the REAL WORLD! I have been keeping up with all the hearsays and rumors that you've been spreading. I kept mum about it but PLEASE! for the love of God, just stop it already!


Stop pretending like you'll never intentionally hurt me or do something that would make me feel upset because honestly, it's EXCRUCIATING already!!!!! Do you even know how hard it is for me to keep silent whenever I hear that you talk about someone who gets involved with me??? What's that about??? Are you pretty sure about that? Do you really want me to go down that road again? Cause if that's what it takes to make you stop, I'm more than willing to. Game face on even!


Your "friends", do they even know me??? or they just know me from YOUR stories??? I understand they are YOUR friends. They would side on you. But I hope you'd also UNDERSTAND when my friends do that to you.


For everyone who has something to say about what happened, here's my take on that:


1. Yes, I was madly inlove with someone else.
2. I realized along the way that what I had at that time was NOWHERE near what I had before him
3. I bet my life you we're once in my situation. So let me ask you this, if you committed the same mistake that I did, would you choose not to hurt him, prolong the pretentions then eventually leave him? Or would you rather hurt him by telling the truth, have him hate you, curse you, but atleast let him be free so he could find someone much deserving of his love?


you know, sometimes, when someone says "It's not you, it's me", try to accept and understand that there is an OUNCE truth in it. It was not just an excuse.


And for the record, just so everyone knows, YES I HAVE PLANS OF GETTING MARRIED but definitely not with someone like him. You are one selfish, backstabbing and insensitive guy I've ever met!


This is NOT me being mad or holding grudges against you. This is a CRY of a girl who, for just once, wants to be heard. I admit that I hurt you. I already apologized for that so many freaking times! But do you really have to keep on doing this just to get even with me? When are you ever gonna stop?? PLEASE TELL ME!


So how does this feel? every single one of the people that I know, reading this! Learning how much of a backstabber you are! How does it feel to be HUMILIATED on a public website?


You're not the only one who gets HURT. You know exactly what you have done to me and my friends. I owe you a heartbreak but you owe me twice much more. You owe me good friendships that you INTENTIONALLY ruined.


This is the last time, I swear. Spare the people I value the most. If I ever, hear you say a single word against him, or even say the first letter of his name, you're gonna be sorry. And you can count on it.